There are times when I start to feel like the better times are over. Like all those great memories from the past are the last great memories that I’ll make. It seems as if each passing year gets less interesting to the point that I’m less excited about tomorrow.
That’s kind of a depressing start to this but it’s more of an awakening than a cry for help. And many of you have probably connected this feeling to why I’m leaving the country again, to seek out that excitement and color. Trouble is you can’t expect a change in the view out your window to change the view in your mind. No matter how many ways I spin it in my head, the honest truth is that I’m running away from my life. Jesus… I sound like someone who should be on suicide watch… No, no I’m fine. Please keep reading.
The catalyst to me posting this was some memories that were brought up tonight while I was at dinner with some old friends. We were part of a new hire group that joined Boeing 6 years ago, all of us fresh out of college with more money than we knew what to do with. We were all in our early 20s, single and looking to extend the college life just a few more years. It felt like every weekend was a party with the weekends bleeding into the week days. It was a time when hangovers didn’t exist and even after a 3AM bed time we could still be ready for an 8AM work out. Nothing could stop us, except time.
Time is like the tortoise, you know, like the tortoise and the hare. No matter how fast-paced a life we lead, time slowly grinds away and before you realize it, it’s caught up. And that’s sort of where I find myself right now, in second place. I’m creeping closer and closer to 30, the vast majority of my friends are married or in serious relationships and at some point people went from trying to extend college life to preparing their kids for college. The weekends are now two days to get chores done and when we do go out the recovery consumes the remainder of the days.
As we approach NYE2010, I can remember the past New Years celebrations and how they’ve evolved from year to year. How baby seats appeared in the cars and parents disappeared from the attendance list. For those parents who are still willing to come out, they’re now accompanied by the little ones. I can’t say that I mind though, kids are a lot of fun. I met a former girlfriend at a NYE party, can’t remember what year but I can tell you the person who hosted the party is now married.
So it seems now I’m chasing after that little green reptile as it slowing trudges along in the distance. I finally woke up from my little nap to realize that I’ve been left in the dust by something that, by some unknown force, is required to tick away at a constant pace. The problem now, you see, is that no matter how fast I move, no matter how much distance I make up, there is nothing that will keep that tortoise from winning. Our little analogy ends at the awakening, because in reality, the tortoise always wins.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Back to the Fight… Well At Least Back to Watching It
It’s been close to a month now since I landed at Lambert Airport in Saint Louis after spending close to 36 hours traversing across half the planet. Since then I’ve seen a lot of friends and family, spent a lot of time eating and sleeping, and probably blown a whole paycheck on gas for my car, all things that I wasn’t able to do for the previous 6 months. It’s been good to have a chance to come home, spend some time in my own bed, shower without shower shoes and have a weekend off again. The problem you see is that all good things come to an end.
It’s not as if going to the great brown ocean is a bad thing. I’m pretty excited to get back out there and spend some more time with friends and helping our guys on the ground take the fight to the enemy. But there are days when I wake up after a comfortable nights sleep and think to myself, there’s got to be another job I can do that would allow me to wake up here every night. The trouble you see is that spending time in the office has made me very aware of what I’m not missing here.
People constantly complaining about how tough they have it, how they are working over time when there are 3 days left in the pay period. When people griping about their bosses or how they have multiple bosses or how they don’t want to go to work any more. Not to forget all those other various whines and moans that people have, also not to forget that I’ve complained about my boss more than any one while I’ve been back.
Someone needs to wake up and realize that even though they’re working overtime, at least they can go home at night and sleep. At least they can spend time with friends and family on the weekends even if they have to work during the day. They don’t have to worry about being that one in a million that gets a mortar dropped on their head while they’re sleeping. They don’t jump every time there is a loud noise because the base might have been infiltrated and someone planted a car bomb outside their tent. But I’ll take all that over sitting in the office hating life every single day until I retire.
The other day I asked someone if they enjoyed their job. They responded with “At least it’s a job, especially in this economy.” So, does that mean they don’t really like their job but since there aren’t any other options, they take it? Is that like being married to someone you don’t really like but you can’t do any better so you’ll take them? I’m not down with hating life and I’m not down with accepting something that I don’t like. But ultimately we aren’t always able to choose what we want and I’ve been fortunate enough to have the opportunity to do something that, despite its many drawbacks, I enjoy very much for the time being.
If you fast forward 30 days I should be sitting on a plane on my way out to the Middle East. It’ll be another whole new experience with my final destination being Iraq with a short layover in Kuwait. I’ll be there with some friends from Afghanistan by way of Oregon and New York. Flying around the world, spending time in war zones, all while getting paid… I don’t think you can beat this life. Anyone want to meet me in London or the Maldives in March?
It’s not as if going to the great brown ocean is a bad thing. I’m pretty excited to get back out there and spend some more time with friends and helping our guys on the ground take the fight to the enemy. But there are days when I wake up after a comfortable nights sleep and think to myself, there’s got to be another job I can do that would allow me to wake up here every night. The trouble you see is that spending time in the office has made me very aware of what I’m not missing here.
People constantly complaining about how tough they have it, how they are working over time when there are 3 days left in the pay period. When people griping about their bosses or how they have multiple bosses or how they don’t want to go to work any more. Not to forget all those other various whines and moans that people have, also not to forget that I’ve complained about my boss more than any one while I’ve been back.
Someone needs to wake up and realize that even though they’re working overtime, at least they can go home at night and sleep. At least they can spend time with friends and family on the weekends even if they have to work during the day. They don’t have to worry about being that one in a million that gets a mortar dropped on their head while they’re sleeping. They don’t jump every time there is a loud noise because the base might have been infiltrated and someone planted a car bomb outside their tent. But I’ll take all that over sitting in the office hating life every single day until I retire.
The other day I asked someone if they enjoyed their job. They responded with “At least it’s a job, especially in this economy.” So, does that mean they don’t really like their job but since there aren’t any other options, they take it? Is that like being married to someone you don’t really like but you can’t do any better so you’ll take them? I’m not down with hating life and I’m not down with accepting something that I don’t like. But ultimately we aren’t always able to choose what we want and I’ve been fortunate enough to have the opportunity to do something that, despite its many drawbacks, I enjoy very much for the time being.
If you fast forward 30 days I should be sitting on a plane on my way out to the Middle East. It’ll be another whole new experience with my final destination being Iraq with a short layover in Kuwait. I’ll be there with some friends from Afghanistan by way of Oregon and New York. Flying around the world, spending time in war zones, all while getting paid… I don’t think you can beat this life. Anyone want to meet me in London or the Maldives in March?
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