I've Never Done This Before...

Unless you avoid all human contact or take about as much risk as a mouse in a zoo’s reptile house, you’ve no doubt heard the cliché “Live every day like it was your last.” Well, last night while I was lying in bed, tossing and turning, I realized something that should have been realized a long time ago. Living every day like it was your last is probably the worst idea, for me, and quite possibly a lot of others. I believe this for a number of reasons, which again, while tossing and turning I was able to elaborate on during my battle with insomnia, energy drinks and that bottle of dietary supplement.

I recall the first time I got off a C-130 in the Afghan desert during the Afghan summer. The sun’s rays beat down on the Earth’s surface like a cop on the door of a meth house. I looked out over the airfield and into the countryside in a feeble attempt to fully take in the scene. Marines, both US and UK, milled about, pulling gear from one aircraft and putting it on another. It was probably the most exciting scene I’ve ever witnessed in the short time I’ve graced this world. I was there. I was in Afghanistan, during the largest conflict in our generation.

I remember my first kiss, something more people can relate to unless you fall into either category that I started with. I remember thinking, while our faces drew closer, that I had no idea what I was doing. But it wasn’t as if that mattered, because neither did she. I won’t bore you with details, as everyone’s been there, but recall the excitement, fear and anticipation.

Think back to your first day of school. If you’re like me and were educated in public school, remember waiting for the bus for the first time. Remember your heart racing as you saw that big yellow behemoth rolling closer to your stop, your mother reassuring you that everything was going to be okay. Think about how it felt to make new friends, finding out that they lived right down the street from you, never realizing the possibility that, 25 years from then, you’d still be friends.

Think about all the firsts in your life and the excitement that accompanied it. Think about the first time you grasped the wheel of a car. Think about a first date, with anyone, and how exciting it is to learn about someone new. How about meeting someone for the first time and knowing that you’re going to marry them. Can you imagine a world where every time you met someone you gave them a new chance to make a first impression?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have any fond memories of the last time I did anything, but I have an endless queue of firsts. Each with their own stories, and their own associated excitement, fear and anticipation. Given the choice, I’d rather wake up every morning and say to myself, “Self, this is the first day of the rest of your life…” instead of “Self, this is the last day of your life… Have fun with that…”

A Double Espresso Grande Fat Free Chai Latte with Whipped Cream, Extra Cinnamon, and a Drizzle of Chocolate and Caramel in a Venti Cup, Please.

I took this job a year ago because I was bored. I was bored with the normal life of working eight hours and heading home to wake up the next morning and doing it all over again. I was tired of the office politics where people, trying to achieve the same goal, argued about whether it was a customer requirement or not. I was tired of spending weekends going to the same places or trying to figure out what to do otherwise. I wanted something different, I wanted to expand my horizons and find something both challenging and entertaining. Recently, however, I’ve found it more and more difficult to keep myself either challenged or entertained.

I’ve had a habit of changing jobs very frequently in my short career. Where most people have either stayed in one position or moved once, this will have been my fourth job switch and hopefully when I get home I’ll have made my fifth. I do it because I get bored once something ceases to be a challenge and that’s when I get restless and start updating my resume. In fact, my most recent resume update was about a week ago. I’m like a 5 month old Labrador puppy, I need to be walked or else I’ll start tearing up the house.

I’m not really even sure I am cut out for the corporate world. I imagined going back to the cubical farm in some office high rise and it made me shudder. Four jobs and I haven’t found a single position that I felt was a real challenge, even dodging rockets while trying to launch an aircraft has proven boring after a year. I guess one could argue that doing what we do out here is about the same as trying to work from home with a child banging pots and pans together in another room. In the end it’s all just another distraction.

Either way, I don’t plan on doing this again. I remotely recall writing something about quitting when I reach a certain percentage of boredom and I think I’ve reached it. But again, where do I go from here?

Sometimes I regret getting my computer science degree. I don’t even particularly care about computers or technology. It’s nice to know that technology is advancing but I’d rather sit on the sidelines and watch. It’s like getting hit by a UFC fighter, I’d rather be outside the Octagon. That being said, I’m not sure what else I’d be good at or what else I’d rather do. I’m complaining about something but not having a suggestion on ways to fix it.

I can imagine how Peter from Office Space felt. What would I do if I had a million dollars? Well, given today’s economic situation, the overall weakness of the dollar and the potential for a global economic catastrophe, I’d probably keep working, since a million dollars wouldn’t last me until I died given my life expectancy is probably increasing every year I’m alive.

Okay, seriously though… If I had enough money that I wouldn’t have to work ever again, I’d probably play golf every day, get a job at a coffee shop, meet a cool artistic nerdy girl, get married and live a long happy life. Aside from making lattes and swinging my driver, I would do absolutely nothing… I AM the reason communism doesn’t work.

Well, you ask, what happened to all that talk about challenges and getting bored? Well, have you ever tried to play golf? Or been behind the person whose coffee order needs its own ZIP code? Take away the office politics and I’d be pretty happy churning out coffee for yuppies and screaming FORE! as my drive slices off toward a group on the adjoining fairway. Plus who could blame me? Would you rather sit in the Octagon getting pounded by Tito Ortiz or swing a golf club on a perfectly manicured fairway? Speaking of getting pounded, I think I hear sirens going off… I better go to the shelter before my life expectancy takes a sudden nose dive.