Firsts and Lasts

Life’s experiences are started with firsts and ended with lasts. The first day of college and the last day, the first relationship and that most important last one. Everything in between seems to flow together like water. Days passing in between that first and that last without even a second thought about their importance.

For me the first of anything is a time of excitement peppered with a little fear. It’s the unknown that’s invokes most of the the two emotions. Of course my most recent experience was with my trip down to Savannah, TN.

I wasn’t sure about moving, even temporarily, to a small town in central TN. The drive down was a mixture of fear and curiosity. I think I’ve compared it to college in an earlier post. That first day when you’re not quite sure what to expect but you’re eager to find out. That’s how it was. I wasn’t sure what to expect from Savannah, but I was ready and willing to go down there and experience something that I hadn’t experienced. Although the fear wasn’t overwhelming, it was there nonetheless.

As the days flowed, life went right along. I became more comfortable with my surroundings and the people who occupied it. I was actually growing to enjoy the place that I was so skeptical of at first. Sadly though, to bring back a nerdy quote from the last episode of StarTrek: TNG, “All good things must come to an end.”

I never would have imagined that I would actually have the desire to stay but sure enough I did. It was the people, those very people that I thought would be horribly unaccpeting of an outsider, that made the experience what it was. That first day was a mixture of excitement and fear and the last drive out was a mixture of sadness and some remembrance.

Trying to pull together all the good memories and the good experiences. Wishing to stop time and live them over and over again. The people I’d met and befriended and those that I met and only knew for a brief moment. It was as overwhelming as that first day, the first time I drove down.

I always wish we could have a playlist of life, like a playlist of songs, that I can put on replay. All the great experiences of my life on infinite loop. Of course I’d get tired of them eventually, but then I’d put the playlist on pause and go off and download new experiences.

Since I can’t do that, I’m now off for another first. On the plane to Hood River, OR, I realize that the first and last is important but no more so than those days inbetween that we often forget and at the end finally try to remember.