Tough to Let Go

Its 11:10 PM here right now, I’ve been brought back to the hub in preparation for my end of tour. Even though there are only 7 more days left before I’m getting off the plane in Saint Louis, I’m still having trouble letting go of the site I created.

I told my theater lead and my manager that Big D was my baby, and I wasn’t lying. Yes, I’m excited to go home but I put a lot of work in that site. A lot of labor, thought and planning went into making it what it is now.

Starting with the foundation that our predecessors created, we shifted a lot of things around that weren’t optimally placed. We rebuilt the maintenance pad. We installed new solar netting to keep that pad shaded from the sun. We got 2 new containers placed for both morale and operations. All those things amongst the little things we did to make the environment better to work in and live in.

I went through multiple iterations of layouts, multiple ideas for what would be best and wrote plans for attacking each advance. I relied on my personnel to know what to do and relied on luck to have everything work out the way they needed to. Fortunately, everything worked out and despite some hang ups, everything usually went smoothly.

Now that I’m on my way out, I find myself wanting to make sure that the site has continued success. Back at the hub I find myself looking for things that we need down there and working on getting those things sent down. More aircraft, more equipment, more tools are just a few of the things. Its sort of like how a parent hopes that their children live better lives than they did, I want my predecessors to have an easier time than I did.

I had my run-ins with outsiders, even once being threatened with being kicked off the site by someone who had that authority. (I came to find out that he actually requested that I be removed but that’s another long story) Despite that I’m still vested in the success of that site. Even though I’m gone, I’m still accountable for the success of that site. I’ve realized that this is a recurrence in a lot of things I’m put in charge of.

The last system I was put in charge of, I felt the same way. My manager was worried that once I left things were going to go wrong, I had other plans. I made sure that everything I started, I finished. I made sure that everything I could do at the time was done before I left and ultimately they found that there was nothing left to do. I felt accountable for its success, even though I was leaving.

So here I am sitting on my last 7 days, doing everything I can to make sure that that site is successful in my absence. I’ve given my child all the elements for success, sent it through school and now it’s time to give it one last push before it has to take on the world without me.